The Silent Tower

Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
~Bible

There have been a few things I’ve been trying to figure out for a while now – things that kept coming up over and over again, every time I worked toward moving forward. Over time, I’ve begun to learn how to deal with most of them, but there are still cases where I .. fell flat on my face, would be the easiest way to put it.

The last few days, things have worked themselves a little bit differently – and it’s been rather nice. The difference being, though I was dealing with the same issues, I approached them from a different angle. And it wasn’t intentional to start with – though it is now ^_^;

There is so much brokenness out there – and though I say I have no desire to seek it out or study it – sometimes I still seem to forget that there can be something more. Then it has to sneak up on me. It’s rather nice when it does, ’cause I always wind up learning something fairly valuable

The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.
~ Helen Keller

Pretty good week – though I’m definitely glad that Friday has come and the weekend is upon us. Downtime is a blessing to be most certain. Doesn’t always feel like I get that much, but every little bit helps.

Once I made it in from school, I read a bit, took an inadvertent nap, and just surfed for a while. Actually spent a rather large amount of time surfing YouTube, just watching various videos. I see now how that can be so engrossing and suck people in for a while ^_^

Sleep comes next – and I’m definitely looking forward to that.

The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence but by oft falling.
~Lucretius

There are a number of things I wish to accomplish in my life. Some of them I have a fairly concrete idea for, others are still piecing themselves together at the back of my mind. But they are there, of that I have no doubt.

The how of it all? That I’m still learning, from moment to moment. But there are always little things – single steps that seem to creep up out of the gloomy morass that would consume everything round-about. When I take one, in time the next becomes apparent, and then the next – and they continue on, as long as I am willing to follow. And with each step, the hazy shifts just a bit – not lightening so much, but letting a glimpse of form, of pattern, slip through and pull me onward.

Little steps, one after another – forming a dance that carries me. The farther I go, the more steps I take, the more confident I become. And the bindings I have placed upon myself grow ever thinner, until they wear through, and fall away.

You’ve got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you’re not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.
~Steven D. Woodhull

This was a pretty good day ^^

Had classes as usual, but there was something interesting in all of them. Being Wednesday, it was also the day I switch out class periods for H&W so I can go to Tai Chi class. And that was great I love every minute of that class, though my legs are still a little sore

EcoSci was quite good as well, though I was late to the lecture section (as the teacher knew I would be). For our lab, actually wound up watching a presentation about Global Destabilization by one Dr Orr, that he had presented at the MSU campus some time not to long ago. The information he had to offer – especially considering the part he has played – is absolutely fascinating. It was one of those types of talks that makes you go, “And I was planning on doing what again today?”

Didn’t have to work in the evening ( yeah! ^_^! ) so I just relaxed around the house. Wound up running a load of dishes. Also ran to the grocery store and bought a few groceries. It’s nice to be able to do a little cooking

A good day really, and I’m thankful for the bit if slow-down it offered in a rushing week.

They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.
~Confucius

I learn something new every day – and I’m rather glad of that fact. It lets me know that I’m still alive, and not just existing. Some days are more difficult than others, but there is always something there.

In growing, I seem to run into the residue of what has been before. In fact, at times it seems to be empowered by the new effort for growth. That can be disconcerting, but it actually does make a bit of sense.

That desire for change has always existed, even before we decide to acknowledge it and act upon it. When it is not acted upon, it twists and turns itself until it finds a form in which it can creep about and slip by us, expressing itself however it sees fit. As you try to move beyond that, you are still drawing from the same source, and as you draw deeply from it, you have to find some way to cleanse/remake these channels that have been altered – otherwise, the internal opposition to your growth will continue to grow with every step you take in the direction of your truth.

It is of course possible to dance a prayer.
~Glade Byron Addams

*dances*

I could never love where I could not respect.
~Charlotte Elizabeth Aisse

I’ve been thinking about respect a little bit this evening. I realized I have three rather broad categories that most of the people I know can fit in.

I respect you: this means I accept and appreciate the differences that make you you.
I have respect for you: this means that I respect aspects of the things you are working on.
I treat you with respect: if neither of the other two are available, I will still treat you well, as everything rates at least that.

Not the best setup, but certainly a place to start. Especially when I meet that rare person who I seem to almost automatically consign to that last category. It bothers me when that happens, which results in me taking the time to discover what it is that so thoroughly lost my respect. And then I check myself – to make sure that same thing is not rampaging in me, bringing about my own destruction of self-respect.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.
~Anne Lamott

Ok, I have to start by saying that Anne Lamott is probably one of my favorite authors. It’s only been in the last few years that I discovered her, but she has a way of addressing things that I appreciate. If you have any interest in writing, I would definitely recommend her book Bird by Bird. It is well worth the read.

I had a good day today. I’m slowly becoming a bit more outgoing, and a bit more take charge in my life – instead of being consistently reactionary. The largest example is the Tai Chi classes I’m going to get to take

Late last week, they sent out an email to OTC students about the fact that they would be offering Tai Chi class free to students and faculty. The classes would be on Wednesday, from 12:3 to 1. Now, during the summer session, I had heard of the possibility that these classes might be coming, and I had been excited then. When I heard that it was an actuality, I knew I had to get there.

I’ve been wanting to take Tai Chi for years, but every time I’ve looked into it, there was something that usually derailed me. To start with, it was finding a class somewhere. Then once I was finding a few classes here and there, finding the funds to *pay* for them. With this, it’s right there at school where I will already be – and did I mention that they are free?

To make it happen though, I had to talk to two of my instructors. The one, my Health and Wellness class, actually takes place from 12-12:5. I talked to the instructor, and for the course of this month and next as the classes are running, I will be allowed to sit in on the class previous to mine – so I won’t miss anything ^^ And for my class at 1 – I spoke to the instructor, and he said it would be alright for me to arrive a little late on Wednesdays To say I was thrilled at these outcomes would be an understatement ^_^!

The really significant part of all this, at least in my mind? Not that long ago, I would *never* have thought about asking an instructor to let me change things up like this to help accomplish something I wanted to do. That would have been an absolutely no-no, as I would have been not only disrupting the “natural order” of things, but I would also be drawing additional undue attention to myself. But .. I’m getting better ^^ And slowly, I’m taking the opportunities I am given – and I’m grow more and more into the possibilities and dreams I have laid out before me.

Begin challenging your own assumptions.  Your assumptions are your windows on the world.  Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won’t come in.
~Alan Alda

What a weekend ^^ I had a pretty good weekend – even though there were points where I feel as if I flubbed up, or didn’t do as well as I could/should have. But I made it through, and every day is an opportunity to do better than before.

Had some pieces fall into place this evening – and they’ve been working to get there for some time. They just had to smack me upside the head enough for me to pay attention and follow along. That one’s a bit longer – ask me if you wanna hear about it ^_^

Windows are a good thing – when light enters a room, it changes the complete perception of a place. When they get dirty or grimy, you not only lose a lot of that light, but you also distort the view from outside. If all you do is stare at those windows, soon enough you’re going to start forgetting what they looked like before they got dirty – and then you begin to wonder what these people are talking about ‘cleaning’.

Once you get those windows polished up, there is one other thing I might suggest: crawl out one from time to time ^^ Then you get a chance to understand first-hand the origin of the radiance that illumines your heart-home. Who knows, maybe someday you’ll even carry that heart-home with you as you make your way though the bounds of creation.

We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.
~Mary Dunbar

I think that’s a question that everyone asks at some point in their life: why am I here? If you haven’t yet – believe me, you probably will. It seems to be a natural occurrence for people.

But even when you do start to wonder, finding the answer can be a life altering experience. A comfortable, repetitive existence is what many people have accepted. I’m not making a value judgment on the actions themselves – only that they have a habit of leaving the individual feeling rather hollow, and most certainly not special.

Any one of us has the potential to do pretty much anything we want to do with our lives. There are however certain things that, given opportunity, we may find that we can do a bit better than most. As you find your strengths, if you take the time to cultivate them, you come one step closer to discovering what it is that makes you unique in the world, and just how you can go about sharing it.